Behavior issues around meal times with kitties Bella and Maya

[DayshaG]

Good morning! I am a newer member to the community as I navigate the landscape of kidney dis-ease with my 13 1/2 yo cat Bella. Her litter-mate Maya is also a beloved member of this 2-cat family home! As Bella's BEAM took a hit in the last 12+ months, which I am working on improving, I have noticed Maya has become a bit of a bully as far as aggressive behavior, especially around meal times. In the last 5 or so years, I have always fed them in separate rooms as Maya is like a feline vacuum and will eat quickly, then if she is around Bella, she will steal her food which made Bella an anxious eater. Separating them at meal times has helped. Earlier this week, Maya had her annual wellness exam and blood work done...a very healthy kitty, all in normal range. (Side note: it is interesting that one kitty has kidney issues, anemia and elevated calcium at her last blood work in August, but her sister is A-OK). My cats always are a bit stressed out upon coming home from the vet with the usual hissing and aggression. Maya is certainly displaying extra hissing this week and outward aggressive behavior as far as jumping or lurching at Bella unprovoked. I have my Feliway diffuser plugged in since the vet visit but there is no change. I'll post a final afterthought. This has made me think of Darwin and survival of the fittest. Is this possible that if Maya has seen a decrease in BEAM in Bella that she will increase her bully behavior? When I am prepping their meals, they both are at my feet and that is when Maya will hiss and lunge, but even after meal time, Maya will still lunge at her. I am attaching a pic of my girls from 2022. Bella is the tiger and Maya is the calico. @Dr. Jeff @Dr. Christina @Dr. Jean Hofve

 

[Dr. Christina]

Interesting pondering - I'll post a final afterthought. This has made me think of Darwin and survival of the fittest. Is this possible that if Maya has seen a decrease in BEAM in Bella that she will increase her bully behavior? When I am prepping their meals, they both are at my feet and that is when Maya will hiss and lunge, but even after meal time, Maya will still lunge at her.
I do not think it is Darwin's, just normal jockeying for position. Cats are not pack animals, so we see interesting behaviors when we have more than one. And Gail Pope at Brighthaven.org had more than 90 at one point, yet no negative interactions.

I would suggest separating them while you are preparing the meals. Maybe, when you have time, spend a few minutes before preparing meals with active play, either with both, or individually.

Focus on building Bella's health so she will be less anxious in general.

Maybe watch both of Anitra Frazier's talks on how much our kitties pick up on our thoughts and emotions.

Try EFT (emotional freedom technique) - see webinars

Finally, explore the whole world of flower essences. I will let Dr. Jean chime in here. I would suspect Safe Space would be good.

A few ideas to ponder,
Dr. Christina

 

[DayshaG]

Interesting pondering - I'll post a final afterthought. This has made me think of Darwin and survival of the fittest. Is this possible that if Maya has seen a decrease in BEAM in Bella that she will increase her bully behavior? When I am prepping their meals, they both are at my feet and that is when Maya will hiss and lunge, but even after meal time, Maya will still lunge at her.
I do not think it is Darwin's, just normal jockeying for position. Cats are not pack animals, so we see interesting behaviors when we have more than one. And Gail Pope at Brighthaven.org had more than 90 at one point, yet no negative interactions.

I would suggest separating them while you are preparing the meals. Maybe, when you have time, spend a few minutes before preparing meals with active play, either with both, or individually.

Focus on building Bella's health so she will be less anxious in general.

Maybe watch both of Anitra Frazier's talks on how much our kitties pick up on our thoughts and emotions.

Try EFT (emotional freedom technique) - see webinars

Finally, explore the whole world of flower essences. I will let Dr. Jean chime in here. I would suspect Safe Space would be good.

A few ideas to ponder,
Dr. Christina

Thank you @Dr. Christina . OK, I can prepare the meals separately as well, too. I watched two of the Anitra Frazier videos in the HA! library, I think that may be what you are referring to? Yes, I will look into the EFT. I have done classes over the years to learn it for myself! I did hear about the EFT on pets while listening in on one of the recent summits. And I am open to flower essences. I look forward to what your colleagues have to say!

 

[Dr. Jean Hofve]

This is absolutely normal when one cat has been to the vet, they come home smelling different. Cats are very visual, and when Bella looked normal but smelled weird, Maya reacted. This should dissipate in a couple of days. (The flower essences recommended below will also help with this.)

Totally agree with Dr. Christina here. Definitely prepare meals and feed separately. If possible, do Play Therapy with Maya will help move her aggression into an acceptable channel.

This is the exact situation Jackson Galaxy and I created Ultimate Peacemaker for! In fact, the original "bully" cat we worked with was also named Maya! ? You may be able to use just Peacemaker, but if you can swing it, the set is really designed just for this.

EFT would also be very helpful here, and better yet, it is free to learn and to apply!

Here's a good beginner video:

Here's my article about using it for animals: EFT Tapping for Animals | Little Big Cat - Dr. Jean Hofve

This is a very solvable problem! Please keep us posted on their progress!

 

[Dr. Jeff]

Earlier this week, Maya had her annual wellness exam and blood work done...a very healthy kitty, all in normal range. (Side note: it is interesting that one kitty has kidney issues, anemia and elevated calcium at her last blood work in August, but her sister is A-OK).

This a very similar situation (1 pet getting sick but the other does not) to how the Happiness Protocol for reducing susceptibility to dis-ease was born:

The Happiness Protocol in Your Pet's Life

At HA! we are committed to much more than helping pets become dis-ease free. We promote restoring and maintaining vitality, balance, energy, & happiness.

www.holisticactions.com

Molecular mechanism of increasing chronic dis-eases, individuality, allergy, and cancer

Below are two interesting articles about how and why chronic dis-eases are on the rise. The first is especially interesting when taken in the context of Vitality, Balance and individualization. The author discusses "precision" molecular medicine and not the previous goal of just a few years...

www.holisticactions.com

In Loving Memory of Vanya Feinman

Today is Labor Day Monday 9/7/20, and I am writing to share a piece of sad news. Three days ago we lost our sweet and beautiful Vanya Marie Land Feinman. Thank you to all of her friends who knew and supported her and to Jen, Diane, Dr. Chuck Noonan, Kate, who helped her (and us) during her...

www.holisticactions.com

 

[Dr. Jean Hofve]

My goodness, this kind of situation has inspired some amazing work!! I'm sorry you're having to go through this, Daysha, but what a learning opportunity for our community!

 

[DayshaG]

This is absolutely normal when one cat has been to the vet, they come home smelling different. Cats are very visual, and when Bella looked normal but smelled weird, Maya reacted. This should dissipate in a couple of days. (The flower essences recommended below will also help with this.)

Totally agree with Dr. Christina here. Definitely prepare meals and feed separately. If possible, do Play Therapy with Maya will help move her aggression into an acceptable channel.

This is the exact situation Jackson Galaxy and I created Ultimate Peacemaker for! In fact, the original "bully" cat we worked with was also named Maya! ? You may be able to use just Peacemaker, but if you can swing it, the set is really designed just for this.

EFT would also be very helpful here, and better yet, it is free to learn and to apply!

Here's a good beginner video:

Here's my article about using it for animals: EFT Tapping for Animals | Little Big Cat - Dr. Jean Hofve

This is a very solvable problem! Please keep us posted on their progress!

@Dr. Jean Hofve wow thank you! 1st of all to all of you...the aggressive behavior is waning so that is good. As I thought from past experience seems to be the vet visit that spurred this. Now...I was very excited to see Jessica Ortner as I have learned EFT in the past in classes, have had my counselor also use it with me, and have taken private lessons from a Dominican sister who is passionate with EFT as well. I have see the Ortners on video, and always enjoyed them. But how exciting I can use myself as a surrogate for Bella and Maya! I will definitely be trying this. And I admit, I have seen Jackson Galaxy on TV over the years but I thoroughly enjoyed your articles you posted above. I also am interested in the flower essences. Are they organic ingredients? The set sounds very appropriate for my girls! Thank you for so much helpful information. XOXO

 

[DayshaG]

This a very similar situation (1 pet getting sick but the other does not) to how the Happiness Protocol for reducing susceptibility to dis-ease was born:

The Happiness Protocol in Your Pet's Life

At HA! we are committed to much more than helping pets become dis-ease free. We promote restoring and maintaining vitality, balance, energy, & happiness.

www.holisticactions.com

Molecular mechanism of increasing chronic dis-eases, individuality, allergy, and cancer

Below are two interesting articles about how and why chronic dis-eases are on the rise. The first is especially interesting when taken in the context of Vitality, Balance and individualization. The author discusses "precision" molecular medicine and not the previous goal of just a few years...

www.holisticactions.com

In Loving Memory of Vanya Feinman

Today is Labor Day Monday 9/7/20, and I am writing to share a piece of sad news. Three days ago we lost our sweet and beautiful Vanya Marie Land Feinman. Thank you to all of her friends who knew and supported her and to Jen, Diane, Dr. Chuck Noonan, Kate, who helped her (and us) during her...

www.holisticactions.com

@Dr. Jeff thank you for your response. Though I still need to read the 1st two links which seem related to our discussion, I was wondering the significance of posting about Vanya? Looked like a very sweet doggy though!

 

[Dr. Jeff]

Thanks for asking Daysha!

That post is because I wanted to introduce the ideas of individuality, susceptibility, and happiness into this current discussion.

 

[DayshaG]

Thanks for asking Daysha!

That post is because I wanted to introduce the ideas of individuality, susceptibility, and happiness into this current discussion.

@Dr. Jeff I am all for that! ?

 

[DayshaG]

Thanks for asking Daysha!

That post is because I wanted to introduce the ideas of individuality, susceptibility, and happiness into this current discussion.

@Dr. Jeff I have taken the time to review the previous post with three suggested article/video links on individuality, susceptibility and happiness. I realized the link for Vanya sent me to the middle of the thread initially and I just now realized after reading from start to finish that Vanya was your own beloved pet. Such a precious picture of her, by the way! I am sorry for you and your family's loss of your beloved friend a few years back. I truly think our pets choose us in life and have much to teach us. ?

 

[Dr. Jeff]

I am sorry for you and your family's loss of your beloved friend a few years back. I truly think our pets choose us in life and have much to teach us

Thanks so much for your condolences Daysha. I really appreciate them and that you took the time to read the whole thread.

Yes, Vanya and Archie (Vanya's friend and my current rescue pup) have taught me a lot.

Tiggy and Aviva (our rescued kitties) are doing the same...