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Need anticipatory grief support for Bella

DayshaG

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Oct 13, 2023
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I have been working with Hana Makinen (and have another appt set up for tomorrow 😻) as well as participating in her online EDC course which is great, but I needed to express to the group here as well as those like Dr Jeff who have been so open about their own experiences with their beloved pets' loss. The truth is I do not know when my 16 year old cat Bella will pass, she was diagnosed with early stage kidney disease 4 years ago during a very difficult time in my life (no coincidence), but I am struggling the last few days after seeing some behaviors that are uncharacteristic of her, such as, the other day when I came home she was not waiting in the kitchen as usual for her dinner, but instead I found her on the bed, awake but not moving, purring and even reached her paw out to me in a display of affection (I was afraid at 1st she couldn't get up but I am guessing she just decided to "rest"). She eventually did appear in the kitchen when I was preparing her and Maya's meals but that was the start of me obsessively watching for things that would prove my fears to be true. I know this is not good mentally for me or her. She doesn't appear to be in pain or discomfort, just the things I can "see" that are changing, her aging, the periodic vomiting, the stiff back-end when she has to shift her body to move while laying down, the muscle loss, etc. which has put me in a spiral of fear and not being able to live in the moment and grounded (I did take Ignatia 1M for myself a few hours ago). It is also a time in the calendar year of my own angelversaries as Hana calls them, for my human loved ones. Looking for support and encouragement that I have the courage to stay the course. It is hard to do this without my beloved husband physically by my side though I know he is spiritually here. @Dr. Jeff I bought a small bag of whey at my local co-op and have sardines on hand. What was your ratio for the muscle recipe that you and Amy use? Bella still has a great appetite! And she will still lie on her side to show an interest to play occasionally but does a lot of sleeping. Her sister Maya has also been lying with her more often and being there for her sister when I feel too overwhelmed. I am also in touch with my homeopathic vet Judy Herman lately too. @Dr. Christina @Dr. Jean Hofve @Dr. Jeff
 
It sounds like you're doing fantastic during this challenging time.

I think if you keep supporting the kitties the way you are already doing, that they will help bring you back to the present. And joy. And love. They are amazing models for us of how to "go with the flow".
Bella still has a great appetite!
That's fantastic! It sounds like she's enjoying this stage of her life.

What was your ratio for the muscle recipe that you and Amy use
1 can of TJ's sardines with a scoop or two of the whey protein blend and enough structured water to allow blending in a small Ninja blender.
 
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